又花了整整一个小时的时间，客厅里的人才全部离开。在这一个小时内，罗凯文与屋子里所有的人交谈，交换罗兰·京尔格帮助过大家的经历：我们基本上没有什么办法去帮助他人，即使全能的上帝都没有这个能力。上帝只帮助那些能够自己帮助自己的人。耶稣也曾对人说过：是你们自己坚定的信心在帮助你，不是我。为什么帮急不帮穷。因为他人的帮助只能解决一时之急，从长远看来，对一个人并没有什么真正的益处。
对于我们任何一个人，生活中总会有一个当下最根本的矛盾问题。只有解决了它，我们的生活才会进步。这个问题，可以称作瓶颈，也可以称作木桶的最短板。但在我们身边，并没有几个人知道这一事实。大多数人在自得其乐地增加他的长板的长度，与此同时希望着他的桶能装更多的水。一个常见的例子就是：一个人只能把工资收入不断存入银行而不能进行有效的投资或消费，却还在不断地努力去争取更高的月薪。
在某种意义上说，人们真正的弱点决定着人们的性格。但人们往往有意无意地忽略自己真正的弱点，以至于有许多人的性格会保持许多年，真是虚度光阴。只有克服了自己的真正弱点，下一个弱点才会出现，同时我们的性格特征也会发生变化。为什么儿童的性格不稳定，而成人的性格相对固定呢。就是因为儿童比成人少些遮掩和固执，会不断克服自己的弱点。越是对于伟大的人，我们发现越难以描述他们的性格，一方面是因为他们在长期地努力中已经克服了大多数人常见的弱点，所以性格特征也不为大多数人所熟悉；另一方面他们还会不断克服自己当下的真正弱点，不断改变着自己的性格。
我们生活的改变，源于性格地改变。性格地改变，源于当前弱点的克服。能帮人找到自己的弱点，是有可能对他人做出的最大帮助。可是恰恰，许多人拒绝这种帮助，他们不愿意正视自己真正的弱点。一个人如此，对他自己来说，整个生活就是原地踏步，龟兔赛跑；一个社会如此，就是不能做到与时俱进，停滞不前，终将受到变革大潮的冲击。
最后，终于剩下罗凯文和爱尔贝莎罗两人，将设立农村养老保险财政专项基金纳入跨世纪人才研究院最新的推广方案。
同时，将我们在帮助他人的工作中从容避免原是好心帮助变成坏事的要点：1、不要期待对方的回报。不管帮助的结果如何，都不要过于看重对方的回报。即使结果是满意的，也要想想对方自身的条件和所做的努力，如果结果不在预想之内，则需要主动承担一些责任，化解对方的情绪。
当你真正想帮助别人，如果到最后没有帮上忙，还让对方受到了伤害，就应该主动沟通，承认自己的失误，这样会让接受帮助的人心理有所安慰，你们的关系也不会受到太大的影响。
2、引导对方降低对成功的预期。对于没有完成的事，结果是很难预料的，特别是需要第三方提供支持优质服务的时候，变化更大。如果能让多方知道，自己的力量有限，可能离真正的预期还有一段距离，对方就不会抱有过高的成功预期。即使最后没有成功，也不会过于难堪。因此，帮助别人要给自己留点余地，不论看上去，多么简单扼要的事情，都要预设最坏的结果，这对自己是一种保护。
3、要提供别人真正需要优质服务的帮助。通常情况下，需要什么样的帮助只有本人才知道，过于主动地提供帮助可能会出现误解。另外，不仅助人者需要一些技巧，接受帮助的人也要有良好的心理准备，主要包括：接受帮助需要注意之一：学会区分帮助的性质。要学会选择性地接受帮助，不要让助人者牵着鼻子走。对自己将来发展有好处的帮助行为，要乐于接受；而对那些虽然冠以“帮忙”之名，实则另有企图者，也要敢于拒绝。切实从自身的实际需要出发，分清帮助的性质，避免由于别人的“帮忙”给自己造成不必要的伤害。接受帮助需要注意之二：接纳别人的好意。当接受别人的帮助时，不要过多关注最后的结果。因为结果是无法预期，所以不要期待别人的帮助就一定要办成，只要用心了就应该表示感谢。只要这样，才有人愿意为你提供帮助的优质服务，才可能建立好更好的人际关系。接受帮助需要注意之三：要宽容对方的错误。当别人由于种种原因“帮了倒忙”时，不要把自己的情绪向对方宣泄，从自己身上想想原因，就能让自己宽容很多。很多时候，从自己身上找错误的原因，往往让自己明白，我们应该更加努力，这不仅对自己有好处，也能够让帮助你的人，减少心理压力。
It took a full hour of time, talent all to leave the living room. In this hour, Luo kai wen to talk with all people in the house to help everyone experience exchange Jingerge · lanluo: Basically, we do not have any way to help others, even God Almighty does not have this ability. God only helps those who help themselves. Jesus also said: your own firm confidence to help you, not me. Why do you help anxious does not help the poor. Because the help of others can only solve a moment of acute and long run, of a person and there is no real benefit.
For any one of us, there will always be a moment the most fundamental contradictions. Only by addressing it, our lives will progress. This problem can be called a bottleneck, also called the shortest board of the barrel. Around us, and not many people know this fact. Most people happily employed to increase the length of his long board at the same time hoping that his bucket can hold more water. A common example: a person can only wage income continue into the bank and not for investment or consumption, are still in constant efforts to strive for a higher monthly salary.
In a sense, the real weakness of people decided the character of the people. But often, intentionally or unintentionally ignore the real weakness that many people’s character will remain for many years, really wasted time. Overcome the only real weakness of the next vulnerability will appear at the same time our character will change. Why unstable character of the children, and adult personality is relatively fixed. Cover and stubbornness is less than adults because children will continue to overcome their weaknesses. More great people, we found that the more difficult to describe their character, on the one hand, it is because they have overcome the most common weakness in the long-term effort, personality traits are not most people are familiar with; another they will continue to overcome the real weakness of the moment, changing the character.
Change in our lives, from the character to change. Personality change from the current weaknesses to overcome. Help people find their own weaknesses, is likely to make others help. But precisely, many people reject this help, they do not want to face up to their true weakness. A person so that he, the whole life is standing still, the tortoise and the hare; a society so that they can not advance with the times, stagnant, and will eventually change the tide impact.
Finally, the remaining Luo kai wen and Ai er Bei Sha Luo two, the establishment of rural endowment insurance financial special fund included in the cross-century talents Institute of the latest promotional program.
At the same time, we will work to help others calmly to avoid originally good intentions to help into the main points of the bad things: one, do not look forward to the other party return. Regardless of the results to help, do not be too value each other’s return. Even if the result is satisfactory, but also think about other conditions of their own and the efforts made, if the result is not expected, you need to take the initiative to take some responsibility, and resolve each other’s mood.
When you really want to help others, if Ultimately, no real help, but also the other side hurt, you should take the initiative to communicate, to recognize their own mistakes, which would allow psychological help some comfort, your relationship will not be greatly affected.
2, and guide each other to lower the expectations for success. Not completed, the result is difficult to predict, especially the need for third-party to provide quality service, support, and greater changes. If we make multi-know your own strength is limited, may be from the real expected some distance, the other side does not have too high a success expected. Even if the final is not successful, it will not be too embarrassing. Help others to give yourself a little room, regardless of looks, how brief, should default the worst results, which he is a kind of protection.
3, to provide people really need the help of quality service. Under normal circumstances, only know what kind of help, too take the initiative to provide assistance may be misunderstanding. In addition, not only to help others who need some tips to help people should have a good psychological preparation, including: receiving help need to pay attention to one: learn to distinguish between the nature of the help. To learn to selectively accept help, not to help others who led by the nose. Behavior on the future development of good help, willing to accept; for those called "help", but in fact another attempt by, but also the courage to refuse. Effectively from their own actual needs, distinguish the nature of the help to avoid other people’s "help" to cause unnecessary harm. Receiving help need to pay attention to two: to accept other people’s good intentions. When to accept help from others, do not focus so much on the final results. Because the result is unpredictable, so do not expect other people’s help to accomplish anything, as long as the intentions should be thanked. In this way, have people willing to provide you with the help of quality services possible to build better relationships. Receiving help need to pay attention to three: to be tolerant of each other’s mistakes. Others for various reasons to help a disservice, not to their emotions to each other to vent, think of the reasons from their own body, can make their own tolerance a lot. In many cases, to find the cause of the error himself, tend to understand, we should work harder, not only what is good, can also help you to reduce the psychological pressure.
Would like to know how the funeral? Please read the first chapter decomposition 【205】
