老人笑容可掬地张望着说：“但是，还有不少家长问过我：罗教授啊，我们也和孩子沟通啊，你的书和资料我们也看了不少啊，你的那些话我们也给孩子说过多次啊。谈了大半天，怎么还是不起作用呢？真急死人了！”
针对此类问题，罗俊·胡适德曾多次讲解什么是“知识”。我往往在“知”与“识”之间，加上一个不等号，即“知”≠“识”。“知”为“知道”，“识”为“认识、理解”。知而不识，不成其为知识；必须既知且识，方为真知。
这也就是说，即使你知道某句话，但这并不表示你真正理解此话的内在含义并能用其指导行动。正如我前面讲过的那样，孩子们都知道“不好好学习，将来会去要饭、扫大街”这句父母们常常“唠叨”的话，但他们并不可能真的了解“要饭、扫大街” 到底是怎么回事，是什么样的感觉，因为现在的孩子们很少有过类似的真实经历或亲身体验。
为人父母的，对生活艰辛的一面当然比孩子理解得深多了，但是，这也并不表示他们能把这种体验准确而适当地传递给自己的孩子，使他们也能真正领会。同样的话或道理，说话者口气、语速、语调的不同，说的时机、角度、场合不一样，对孩子当时的心态、感觉把握得好不好，等等，都是与孩子谈话效果如何的决定因素。这绝非是只要把我的某些话讲出来，对孩子重复一遍，就能马上奏效，立竿见影。同样的话语或道理，不同的人用不同的方法、在不同的场景下讲出来，是不会达到同样的效果的。
当然，还有一个因素更重要，那就是我和孩子的父母是不同身份的人——孩子对自己的父母已经太熟悉了，对父母的那一套也太了解了，亲子之间的关系和情感早就不融洽了。现在，无论父母的话再怎么有道理，也同样会被他们反感地当做耳边风而毫无作用了。因此，做父母的不只是要记住并会说别人的什么话或某些大道理，更重要的是要学会做合格的父母，要能让孩子感到亲切、可信赖，如同真诚、平等的朋友一样。这就需要一个过程——父母本身改变、改进的过程。所以，我劝这些家长们切切不要急于求成，仅仅停留在对孩子复述我的言语的层次上，而是要首先学习并提高自身的素质，同时要不断地学习正确的沟通方法，这样亲子之间的互动才能真正得到改进。到那个时候，父母的话才能走进孩子的心里。
同样，“沟通”这两个字很容易说，很多人也知道要“沟通”。但是，要真正懂得怎样去沟通，怎样真正做好心灵的沟通，那还是需要下一番真工夫的。
有位天津的母亲曾十分痛苦而困惑地向我倾诉道：“我看过很多教育学家、心理学家的书，也看过你罗教授的书，知道要和孩子沟通，或给孩子写信交流，要跟孩子做朋友。有一天， 我写了一封三页纸的信，好不容易把孩子弄到身边。我十分诚恳地对他说：‘孩子啊，妈妈过去错了，现在妈妈真的想改进，要和你做朋友。你看，妈妈写了这封信。’接着我就开始念给他听：‘亲爱的孩子，从今天起，妈妈就是你最真诚的朋友……’我还没有念完半页，他就跑了。为什么呢？”
Smiling and looked old,said:"However,there are many parents have asked me: Professor Luo, ah, ah We also communicate with their children, and your books and materials we have seen a lot of ah, you are, then we children also said many times ah. to talk of the day, or how it does not work? really worried to death a person! "
For such problems, Hushide · Junluo on several occasions to explain what is "knowledge." I tend to "know" and "knowledge" between, plus a varying number, the "know" ≠ "knowledge." "Know" to "know", "knowledge" to "knowledge, understanding". Knowledge and not knowledge, not become knowledge; must knows is, and know, side to true knowledge.
That is to say, even if you know of a sentence, but that does not mean you really understand the inner meaning of words and can use it to guide action. As I said before, as the children know that "do not learn in the future will go begging, street-sweepers" phrase parents often "chatter" then, but they may not really know, "begging, street-sweepers." in the end how it is, what kind of feeling, because the children have had little real experience or similar experience.
Parents, on the hard side of life, of course, much deeper understanding than children, but this does not mean that they can put this experience accurately and properly passed to their children so that they can really understand. The same thing or truth, speaker tone, pace, tone different, said the timing, angle, not the same occasion, the child’s state of mind at that time, I feel sure how well, etc., are talking with the children how effective decision factors. This is definitely not as long as some of my words out, the children repeat, you can immediately work straight away. The same words or reason, different people in different ways, in different scenarios speak out, will not achieve the same effect.
Of course, there is a more important factor, it is my parents are different and the identity of people - children of their own parents have been too familiar, the set of parents is also too well, the relationship between parent and child and a long emotional disharmony. Now, if both parents no matter how justified, will also be offensive to them as fallen on deaf ears and no role. Therefore, parents not only to remember and what others will say it or some truths more important to learn how to do qualified parents to allow children to feel warm, trustworthy, as honest and equal friend the same. This requires a process - the parents themselves to change and improve the process. Therefore, I advise these parents honestly do not rush, just stay on the child repeat the words of my level, but to first learn and improve their quality, and to keep learning the correct way to communicate, so that parent-child the interaction between the can really be improved. By that time, the parents, then in order to enter the child’s heart.
Similarly, the "communication" is very easy to say the word, many people know to "communicate." However, to really know how to communicate, how to really do a good job communicating the mind, something that still need to devote true under the.
One of Tianjin’s mother had a very painful and confusing to talk to me and said: "I’ve seen a lot of educators, psychologists, the book, Professor Luo also read your book, know and communicate with their children, or to the children to write information exchange, keep the children make friends, and one day, I wrote a three page letter, the children finally get around, and I very sincerely said to him: ’Son ah, my mother in the past was wrong, and now her mother really want to improve, to be your friend You see, my mother wrote this letter. ’Then I began to read to him:’ My dear child, from today, my mother is your most sincere friend ... ’ I have not finished half a page, he ran away. Why? "
Would like to know how the funeral? Please read the first chapter decomposition 【166】
