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第24章:爱我就给我


我请你原凉,亲爱的威廉!我把那些要求我们服从不可抗拒的命运的人骂作废物,的的确确并非指您。我实在没有想到你也有类似的想法。当然从根本上讲,您是对的。不过,好朋友,世上的事情很少能要么干脆这样,要么干脆那样。人的感情和行为千差万别。正如在鹰钩鼻子与蹋鼻子之间,还可能有各式各样别的鼻子。

您别见怪:我承认你的整个论点,却又企图从“要么这样——要命那样”这个空子中间钻过去。

您在说什么,“要么你有希望得到爱恋。要么根本没有。好啦,如果是第一种情况,你就努力实现它,努力满足于自己的愿望;否则,你就振作起来摆脱那该死的感情,要不然它一定会把你的全部精力都吞掉。”——好朋友呀,说得是动听!说得也是容易的,但何曾不想过做起来?

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可是,如果对于一个受着慢性病摧残而一步步走向死亡的人,难道你就能要求她拿起刀来,一下子结束自己的痛苦么?病魔在耗尽她的精力的同时,不也摧毁了他、她自我解脱的勇气么?

当然,你满可以用下面这个贴切的比喻来反驳我:谁不愿意牺牲自己的一条胳膊,而是迟疑不决,甘冒丢掉生命的危险呢!

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唉!叫我怎么说好呢?——还是让我们别用这些比喻来伤彼此的脑筋吧。够了。

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是的,威廉!我间或也是有一瞬间有过振作起来、摆脱一切的勇气,然而……要是我知道往哪儿去的话,我早就走了!

我的工作日记本好些时候一来给丢在一边,今天又让我无意间翻了起来。我很惊异,我竟是这样睁大眼睛一步一步地陷进了眼前的难堪的境地!我对自己的处境一直看得清清楚楚。可行动却像个小孩子似的;现在也仍然是看得十分清楚,但就是没有找到丝毫的悔改之意。

我也何曾不想过创业?但资金从知识财富而来,这财富何时变为黄金?

“当麦花开放的时候

你又开始跑下山来

你知道我多少次在看着你

看着麦花金色的笑容

你推开我的房门

风吹进来了

风吹进夜晚的香气

风吹进你身上的麦花香气……”

威廉喜欢这样的女生?是像小崔那样的吗?我没有问过威廉,也不敢问,好像威廉从没有对哪个女生钟情过。真是奇怪。

威廉!这段时间有时候的脾气很坏,在田地里也翻着书,忽然就丢弃给我,冰着脸孔走远。我把书拾起来,然后,一个人顺着荒凉的路走回去。

天空当时的颜色是淡黄色的,荒草的颜色是暗绿色的,石头的颜色是灰白色的---大自然的颜色是纷繁复杂的,让我心乱。有时候,我和威廉一起从校门出去,沿着田野,走向小镇中心。小镇上有卖柿子的农妇,蹬在地上,守着哪稔红的柿子,脸色粗糙而红润。威廉总是要买两个柿子,递给我一个。我争着付钱。我知道,威廉与我的家境一样都是很困难。威廉也和我争着付钱,然而,他最后听从了我。柿子软软的,红色的汁液,饱满、滋润。我们边走边吃,把风也吃进了胃里。

我们站在小站渺小的火车站旁,看黑色的火车匆匆驶过。小城太小了,一般的火车都不停留。即使是停下,也只有几分钟,便呼啸而去,把外面世界的风尘带得更远。

威廉说:“一看见火车,就让人伤感。”

我看了威廉一眼。威廉仍旧是穿着他的青绿色衣服,上面的皱纹像树叶在波动。他的嘴唇现在被风吹得有点干枯。“你知道吗,放假你回老家,我去送您,火车一开动,眼泪就落了下来。”

我望着威廉,时而又看看晶爽V,他们并不看我,脸色漠然,“我也知道为什么…”晶爽V转过了脸,望着我。她笑了起来。

我也笑。

若想知后事如何?请阅读第【二十五】章分解

I ask you to the original cooler, dear William! I asked us to submit to those irresistible fate of those who called for waste, really does not mean you. I really did not think you had a similar idea. Fundamentally speaking, of course, you are right. However, good friends, very few things in the world or simply be able to do, or simply out. People’s feelings and behavior differ. As in the nose aquiline nose and collapse, may also have a wide range of other nose.
Bie Jianguai you: I admit that your whole argument, but an attempt to "either way - to death as" take advantage intermediate drilling in the past.
You are talking about, "or you would love. Or not. Well, if it is the first case, you strive to achieve it, and strive to meet the aspirations of their own; Otherwise, you will take heart from that bloody Feelings, or else it will certainly all the energy you have to gulp down. "- Does a good friend, to put it is pleasant to the ears! To put it is also easy, but do not want to ever have done?
However, if being a chronic disease and the destruction of step by step toward death, do not you ask her to be able to Naqi Dao, all of a sudden end to their suffering what? Disease in the depletion of energy at the same time she does not have to destroy him, and the courage to release her self-what?
Of course, you can use the following over the appropriate analogy to refute me: who is not willing to sacrifice his arm and a rather hesitant, to take away the risk of this life!
Alas! Asked me to say how good? - It is better for us not to use these to describe each other’s brains hurt you. Enough.
Yes, William! I also have a blink of an eye or have had heart and courage from all but ... if ... I know where to go, I have long gone!
I work in this diary some time to come to a left side again today, I accidentally turned up. I am very surprised, I was looking this way step by step into the front of the embarrassing situation! My own situation has been clearly seen. Action may have seemed like a child; now is still very clear, but could not find the slightest repentance.
I do not want to ever venture? But the funds come from the wealth of knowledge, when this wealth into gold?
"When Michael took the time to open
You start to run down the mountain
Do you know how many times I looked at you
Michael looked at the golden flowers smile
You open my door
A wind coming in
The wind into the night aroma
Into the wind you have to spend Michael’s body odor ... ... "
William girls like this? Xiao Cui is kind of like it? I have not asked William, I dare not, like William of which have never been in love girls. Is really strange.
William! Sometimes this period of bad temper, is also turning in the fields, on all of a sudden I have to throw away, the ice face a step. I picked up the book, then, a person along the deserted back road.
At that time, the sky is the color of yellow, the color of grassland is dark green, gray is the color of the stone --- the color of nature is complex, let me Xinluan. Sometimes, along with William and I go out from the school, along the field toward the town center. There is a small town to sell the persimmon peasant woman, kicking on the ground, which keep well persimmon red, ruddy face and rough. William always buy two persimmon, handed me a. I am racing to pay. I know that William and my family are the same as difficult. William and I are racing to pay, however, he finally listen to me. The soft persimmon, red juice, full, and moisture. We went to eat, eat-outs into the stomach.
We stand in the small station next to the railway station to see a black train passed in haste. A small town, the trains generally do not stay. Even if it is stopped, and only a few minutes, swept away the dust with the outside world even further.
William said: "I saw the train, sad people."
I read a William. William was still wearing his green clothes and green, above the wrinkles as fluctuations in the leaves. His lips were now the wind was a little dry. "Do you know, you have a holiday back home, I sent to you, a train running, tears on the drop-down."
William looked at me, and when they look at the cool crystal V, they do not look at me, looked indifferent, "I know why ..." V Shuang turned the crystal face, I looked at. She laughed.
I laughed.

If you want to know how the funeral? Luo Jun, please read the 25th-author of "Likes me giving me"